Recently I have celebrated the first year of my blog being live and I am really pleased that I have been able to dedicate my time to it over these last twelve months.
Writing a personal blog has often been a challenge for me. Regularly I am hit with writers block, where the pages in front of me remain blank for days on end as I fail to come up with any inspiring ideas for posts.
However one thing has remained constant throughout all of this. The support from some really wonderful incredible people who have encouraged me to keep going with my writing, Instagramming and photography.
This is what inspired me to write this latest post.
The anthropologist Robin Dunbar says the average person knows around 150 people well enough to be acquaintances. From this, they have 10 people they consider to be good friends and 5 close friends and therefore core people within their lives.
Since living more minimally I have made a conscious decision to ensure I put the same effort and time into my relationships as I do with my other values, such as travelling and experiencing more.
Therefore, I know that the core people who surround me on a daily basis are authentic, genuine people who share the same values and traits as me.
This doesn’t mean we are all the same person and we all have the same personalities because that would just be boring. But great friends make life better, and authentic friends make life incredible.
By surrounding myself with positive energy and people I have been able to really achieve my goals, find support when I am struggling with writers block or any other issue, and be happy on a regular basis.
They are genuine people with their own aspirations and goals but are open and honest along the way. They are honest about their ups and downs, strengths and flaws.
The one thing in common with my ‘core group of people’ is that they all embrace life and value experiences, memories and happiness above all else.
So here it is, a minimalist’s perspective on what a core friend looks like:
They support your goals.
They are there to encourage us, push us past the finish line, and motivate us to really go for our dreams and aspirations. True friends are there with the champagne to celebrate after each victory. They know we all have our own dreams, and are not jealous people. Good friends want everyone to succeed and to be happy.
Make you laugh
Good core friends are people you can make incredible memories with. People you just want to spend more and more time with, because they make life so much more fun.
Listen to you
A friend who can lend an ear and just listen is sometimes all we need to understand our tangled thoughts and feelings.
All my core friends are incredible people, and their personal achievements inspire me each and every day, no matter how big and small. Surround yourself with amazing people.
A good friend is there to keep you on your path. They won’t be there to judge you, or tell you your decisions are wrong, but they will be there to challenge you and ensure that you are happy with your choices. And if you are, they value that and encourage you. A good friend isn’t just a cheerleader, they are more of a coach.
Have similar values
Too often we bond with people out of convenience. As a minimalist, why would you invest so much time ensuring your life is filled with the things that make you happy and not extend this into your relationships. By bonding with people out of choice, with people who value the same things as you, you will have much stronger and more meaningful friendships going forward.
My friends really do inspire me, and below are things about different people that I value and love about them. Anonymous of course to save their blushes!
- I love that one of my true core friends is both ambitious but also kind. You rarely find such a good combination in a person, but she does it so genuinely it is inspiring.
- I know two people that daily make me laugh, inspire me to do good things, and additionally are there to support when things get tough. They also have the same sense of humour as me which really helps!
- Two of the people I value as friends have an incredibly strong relationship and marriage, because it is based on support, love and friendship. They are encouraging and kind.
- I have one friend who is so much fun to be around that a social situation feels lost without her. She is warm, bubbly and incredibly perceptive, but still authentic.
- Not seeing a friend often doesn’t mean that they are not a core friend. One of my most valued friends lives far away and I see him rarely, but he is honestly so driven, kind and thoughtful. He remembers dates, memories and things that most people would forget about if they were not a true friend. He will honestly be a forever friend.
- Two of my friends are related, and they are incredibly wonderful in their own way. They are both incredibly passionate about their values such as animal rights and the environment, into cool and quirky things and hilarious. They are there to support no matter what, and also to push me to do things I would normally be terrified of! Such as diving into the freezing cold English sea!
- Being there for you is one of the most incredible things a friend can do in a time of need, and this is something two of my friends go above and beyond with. They are a solid support network and I value their friendship so much.
There are so many more friends and reasons and this list could go on and on. One thing that runs through it all though is that they all add value to my life, and that’s what a friend should do. No bad energy, all good.
So there you have it, a minimalist insider’s view on positive friendships. What do you value in a friendship?